Thanks for your patients

Anyone who knows me knows how I feel about silly grammar and spelling errors. Though in my old age, I expend more energy making fun of them than getting mad about them, as I used to. In the spirit of making fun, I share with you an email I received at a previous job.

To All ABC Business Employees:

During the copier moves this morning you may experience some down time within your area. We are working as fast as we can to get your department back up and running with your copier. If you need assistants to connect to another copier/printer in your area, please contact the Help Desk by email are by phone.

Thanks for your patients.

To be fair, all of this stuff passed the spell check test, so seriously, what’s my problem? I have a vision of the entire department “up and running” with copiers, assistants and all. Plus patients. In hospital gowns. In a government building. As for the “are,” I’ve got nothing, other than contempt. Who writes this stuff? I’ll have to ask the IT folks at my new job whether I can press the “any” key for assistants …

Reminds me of a time, long ago when I worked at a newspaper, and was proofing the obituary of a very dignified woman, who happened to be the aunt of one of our reporters. The reporter had written her aunt’s obituary in her usual, flowery way. I wish I had kept a copy of the original, but you’ll have to trust me that what the reporter intended to write was something along the lines of this: “she enjoyed taking her dog for rides in the car. Window down, the dog loved sticking its head out the window and feeling the breeze through its fur – ears flying behind it.” What she actually wrote was more along the lines of this: “she enjoyed taking her dog for rides in the car, head out the window, breeze through her hair, ears flying behind her.” Yes, the dignified aunt loved riding in a car with her head out the window and her ears flapping in the breeze. To this day, that reporter still believes I ruined her aunt’s obituary when I fixed that mistake. I can live with the disdain. It was worth it to make sure nobody else had the visual I got when reading the last story to be told about this woman.

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