Open letter to a cranky customer

Dear Valued Customer;

Thank you for your five negative (and one positive) comments on our company’s Facebook wall, as well as the crazy, ranting email. We love nothing better than to be bombarded with unreasonable negativity first thing on a Monday morning, and it was kind of you to indulge us so effectively.

If I understand your rants correctly, you are upset that our company website is out of date and does not work. The search tools are broken, as is the area where members log in to view their personal information. We very much appreciate you letting us know this. We’ll fix it immediately, regardless of the fact that 13,000 other customers have had no trouble at all with the site, which is updated daily.

You are concerned that we don’t offer local service, other than the location we discussed, which you don’t want to use. No problem, have you tried this nearby location? Oh. You don’t want to drive 15 miles to the next-closest location, because that’s “out of state?” I understand completely. At my next regularly scheduled breakfast meeting with the two governors, I’ll encourage them to move the state boundaries to accommodate you.

I hear from our customer service supervisor that she contacted you by phone to try to help you through your issues, and you were rude and refused to talk to her. Completely understandable. She was out of line, and has been reprimanded. Nowhere in her job description does it say she is to contact customers who have questions and attempt to answer those questions. It won’t happen again.

I’ve very much enjoyed spending the day emailing you, and I was glad to provide you with such specific, helpful information as I did. Of course, I’d have provided you more information if you’d answered any of my questions, instead of ignoring them and continuing to rant. But I know you’re a busy man. Summers are a busy time, so I definitely understand that it’s difficult to find a few spare minutes for a phone conversation (or drive 15 miles to procure a service), when you could spend hours online flaming a company Facebook page, and sending angry, incoherent emails.

In the meantime, give some thought to utilizing one of our competitors for your service in the future. I’d be more than happy to assist.

What do you think?

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