Why can’t we all just get along? Getting along would be so much easier if you simply used the correct words to describe your item, issue, appliance, whatever. I’m a pretty laid-back person (why is my husband laughing?) and can let a lot of things slide (no, seriously, stop laughing!), but while you may think you’ve gotten away with your misuse of the English language, I’m secretly ridiculing you in my head. If you happen to be on television (I feel like sportscasters are the worst culprits), I’m ridiculing you out loud.
Seriously, folks, that appliance in your closet is a water heater. If it were a “hot water heater,” as you insist on calling it, it would be pretty useless, wouldn’t it? I mean, if the water’s already hot, it doesn’t need to be heated.
Since it’s very cold back home – in the single to low double-digits for the past few weeks – I’ve heard a few people mention that their pipes are frozen. Which totally sucks. I have some trouble feeling sympathy, however, when they announce they need to “unthaw” said pipes. Um, Mother Nature already did that. If you want the pipes to be functional, you might want to consider thawing them. Unthaw=unfreeze. Neither is a Thing.
This one has picked up steam in the past few years. I have no idea where it came from, or why so many otherwise intelligent people have picked up on it: “also too.” You know those words mean the same thing, right? It’s rather like a double negative – if you use them both, they cancel each other out.
Sell and sale have also been used in interesting ways. I’ve only noticed in the past three or four years (since more people are using Facebook, maybe?) that these have been misused, but what interests me even more is when each is used in place of the other. “I have a book for sell, how much do you think I should sale it for?” Must. Stop. Grinding. Teeth.
Hubby and I often use this one ironically. Made popular by people who make up words and use them on television, but not remotely correct: agreeance. “We’re all in agreeance on this issue.” The word is agreement. “We’re all in agreement,” or “we all agree.” Rule of thumb: if it sounds silly, try again.
I could go on all day, but you’ve already stopped reading, so what would be the point? I’d like to leave you with this: “You’ve got another thing coming.” In the mail, or will it be hand-delivered? The proper phrasing is “You’ve got another think coming.” I know think sounds silly, but let’s use it in a sentence. “If you think you’re leaving the house in that skirt, you’ve got another think coming!” As in, “think again.” Let’s try it this way: “If you think you’re leaving the house in that skirt, you’ve got another thing coming!” What other thing? Another skirt? Is there a monster on its way to our house? No. Think.
Everyday: Makeup is an everyday item that I use every day.
Free gift: What gift isn’t free?
First annual: I like the optimism, but no. If it’s only happened once, it’s not annual.
Irregardless: Save yourself a syllable and say “regardless!”
Funner, funnest: more fun, most fun.
Ensure/insure: Ensure = make sure. Insure = what you do to a car, so if you get into an accident, the insurance company will pay for a portion of the repair costs.
Mute/moot: “It’s a mute point.” No, it’s not. It’s a moot point. Say it with me: moooo (like what the cow says) t. Moot.
Coach up: So, coach? Coach especially emphatically?
Incidences: (I think you mean incidents).
Acrossed (or is it spelled acrost?): There’s no T in across.
Adverse/averse: A bad thing happened; there were adverse consequences. I don’t like bees; I’m averse to the pain of being stung.
What grammar/language/punctuation/spelling errors drive you bonkers? There are so many I’ve left out, I’m sure you have some thoughts, so, spill! (seriously, did she just write “spill?”).